What is a Bully?
When does it cease to be “kids will be kids” and becomes active bullying? Having been the victim of bullying in school, as early as elementary school, and as recently as a couple of years ago as an adult, in the work place, I am far too familiar with bullying and the various forms bullying can take.
So when is it officially “bullying”?
Well let’s break it down:
PHYSICAL BULLYING:
The most obvious and familiar is Physical Bullying. This involves bodily contact between aggressor and victim for the purpose of intimidation and control. The characteristics include kicking, punching, biting, hitting, scratching, wrestling until the victim is submissive and incapable of retaliation. Weapons are included in this, as they can be used to further the campaign against the victim and pose a threat of lethal force and further bodily harm.
VERBAL BULLYING: This pattern interfere’s with the healthy emotional state and development of another person. This is an onslaught of words that are demoralizing, involve name calling, suggests a character assassination, and can be more damaging than physical bullying because the emotional scars last a lifetime. The act of intimidating the victim to believing the words to be true regardless of how derogatory or far-fetched is the verbally abusive bully. During intense verbal abuse, the victim is dominated until submissive and as a result of the words used and now the victims imposed self perception can cause clinical depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Despite the fact that it is the most common type of abuse, verbal abuse is generally not taken as seriously as other forms of abuse, because there is no visible proof. In my personal experience most recently I was the target of this bully. While the words were not ever said to me directly, instead in a passive aggressive attempt the bully intimidated, using work and hours as leverage, her subordinates in a hate campaign against me. Her words to others were hurtful, and contrived and I was therefore isolated and ultimately forced out of the company. While I tried to blow the whistle on my bully and illustrated through official company documentation that she was in fact orchestrating the campaign, I was “shooed away” and the matter was covered up and I was dismissed. In reality, whether direct or indirect, moderate to severe cases of verbal abuse (especially in which the victim is under constant attack) can be more detrimental to a person’s health than physical abuse.
Interestingly, studies show that verbal abuse starting from a young age contributes to inferiority complex, machismo attitudes, and other negative behaviors that plague many people into senior age.These instigate social challenges and outcasts or breeds bullies for the survival of the fittest.
CYBER BULLYING is the use of Internet, cell phones or other devices to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. Cyber-bullying can be as simple as continuing to send e-mail to someone who has said they want no further contact with the sender, and continues however, cyber-bullying includes threats, sexual remarks, pejorative labels such as HATE SPEECH, ganging up on victims by making them the subject of ridicule in forums, chat spaces, open social media platforms, tweeting, and posting false statements as fact aimed at humiliation. Cyber-bullies may disclose victims’ personal data (e.g. real name, address, or workplace/schools) at websites or forums or may pose as the identity of a victim for the purpose of publishing material in their name that defames or ridicules them. Some cyber-bullies may also send threatening and harassing emails and instant messages to the victims, while others in again, a passive aggressive manner, will post rumors or gossip and instigate others to dislike and gang up on the target. According to research, boys initiate mean online activity earlier than girls do. However, by middle school, girls are more likely to engage in cyber-bullying than boys do. Whether the bully is male or female, their purpose is to intentionally embarrass others, harass, intimidate, or make threats online to one another. This bullying occurs via email, text messaging, posts, videos, blogs, and micro and web sites.
Definition: emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, child abuse and in the workplace
There is a strong link between bullying and suicide, as suggested by recent bullying-related suicides in the US and several other countries. The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming:
- Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it
- Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
- A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
- 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
- According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of bullying.
There are resources to help you if you believe your child is being victimized. If you don’t Stand Up for your child who will?
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/
When PACER was established in 1977, it began with one project: Parents Helping Parents. Then as now, PACER was staffed primarily by parents of children with disabilities dedicated to educating other parents and improving the lives of children with disabilities throughout Minnesota. With a small grant from the Minnesota Department of Education, PACER conducted a five-month pilot project and demonstrated the effectiveness of the “parents helping parents” model. 
Although today PACER offers more than 30 programs for parents, students, professionals and other parent organizations, the original philosophy of “parents helping parents” remains the foundation upon which PACER has grown. Whether addressing the issues of early childhood or assisting youth in making the transition from high school to work, parents on PACER’s staff share their experiences and their knowledge with others so that all Minnesota’s children with disabilities may have a better future.
A look at the past 30 years shows the commitment and some of the accomplishments of PACER friends, boards and other volunteers and staff who have worked hard to make a difference in the lives of children with disabilities and their families.
http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/home/index.htm
GLSEN
GLSEN works with educators, policy makers, community leaders and students on the urgent need to address anti-LGBT behavior and bias in schools. GLSEN strives to protect students from bullying and harassment, to advance comprehensive safe schools laws and policies, to empower principals to make their schools safer, and to build the skills of educators to teach respect for all people.
http://www.welcomingschools.org/teachable-moments/
WELCOMING SCHOOLS
Teachable moments are opportunities to move one step closer to creating welcoming schools for all children and families. Imagine scenarios like these:
- A student walks by your classroom and says, “That’s so gay!” to her friends.
- You overhear one student say to another, “How can he be your father? The color of his skin is so different than yours!”
- Your son asks you “What does gay mean?” while you sit down for dinner.
- “How could a mother give up her child?” asks a student during a discussion about adoption.
Without forethought, these topics may catch us by surprise because they are not often discussed. Practicing age-appropriate responses to students’ questions and reviewing the necessary terminology helps all of us take advantage of these teachable moments. With preparation, these moments can actually help us improve a school’s environment.
http://www.glbtqonlinehighschool.com/
GLBTQ ONLINE HIGH SCHOOL
Imagine a school where you can be you. Where your friends share similar experiences and similar questions. Where you can get a high quality education while receiving comprehensive support from adults and peers. Where all staff members genuinely want to work with you. Because of who you are. Even if you’re not sure.
Welcome to GLBTQ Online High School, the world’s first online high school specifically for glbtq youth. Our mission is to provide a safe and welcoming educational community that proides a high quality, comprehensive college-preparatory online high school experience for students who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender youth, or those questioning their sexuality or gender, and others.
http://www.youthline.ca/
LESBIAN GAY BI TRANS YOUTH LINE CANADA
The Lesbian Gay Bi Trans Youth Line is a toll-free service provided by youth for youth. We’re here to offer support, information and referrals specific to your concerns. We are here because we want to be there for you – to be part of your community. We may not have lived your experiences exactly, but we can probably relate. We too, are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit or queer. 
No question is too silly, no problem too serious. We may not have all the answers, but we’re here to listen and we’ll do our best to help you find the resources you need. We are sex positive and non-judgemental. We’re here to help youth who are 26 and under who live anywhere in Ontario.
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
WE SAVE LIVES
THE TREVOR LIFELINE – 866-4-U-TREVOR [U.S. CALLS ONLY] 
The Trevor Lifeline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline is a free and confidential service that offers hope and someone to talk to, 24/7. Each year, tens of thousands of calls are fielded from young people across the country. The Trevor Lifeline is accredited as an exemplary crisis intervention program by the American Association for Suicidology (AAS).
http://community.pflag.org/claimyourrights
PFLAG
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is a national non-profit organization with over 200,000 members and supporters and over 500 affiliates in the United States. This vast grassroots network is cultivated, resourced and serviced by the PFLAG National Office, located in Washington, D.C., the national Board of Directors and 13 Regional Directors.
Standing Up Strong is dedicated to helping you to stand up strong for yourself and your child. We are committed to providing excellent resources and valuable information to help you make great choices for yourself and your child. Its a place where gathering your strength is encouraged and when you think you haven’t any strength, you find some encouragement to muster some. Strength comes with conviction of the heart.
Bullying hurts, no matter who you are or how old you are. Your strength is what will overcome the situation. Finding Strength in your Community who Genuinely Cares is invaluable.
Standing Up Strong 