Trans-gender, McDonald’s and two Teen Girls….a horrifying story, a life lesson for all

Two teen aged girls were arrested for violently attacking a transgender woman in a Rosedale, Maryland, McDonalds on April 18.

The incident occurred when 22-year-old Chrissy Lee Polis, who is transgender, tried to use the women’s restroom.

“They said, ‘That’s a dude, that’s a dude and she’s in the female bathroom,’ ” Polis told the Baltimore Sun in an interview yesterday. “They spit in my face.”

What happened next is detailed in a three minute clip, taped by a McDonald’s employee, that spread virally. The video garnered more than 500,000 views on one site alone.

According to the Baltimore Sun:

The video shows two females—one of them a 14-year-old girl—repeatedly kicking and punching Polis in the head as an employee and a patron try to intervene. Others can be heard laughing, and men are seen standing idly by.

Toward the end of the video, one of the suspects lands a punishing blow to the victim’s head, and a Polis appears to have a seizure. A man’s voice tells the woman to run because police are coming.

Stepping back from the employee’s actions, McDonald’s acknowledged the attack and issued a statement saying , “We are shocked by the video from a Baltimore franchised restaurant showing an assault. This incident is unacceptable, disturbing and troubling.

“McDonalds strives to be a safe, welcoming environment for everyone who visitsw. Nothing is more important to us than the safety of customers and employees in our restaurants. We are working with the franchisee and the local authorities to investigate this matter.”

On Saturday, franchise owner Mitchell McPherson echoed the national office’ssentiments stating “The crew member who made the video is no longer employed with my organization.”

Equality Maryland has called on Douglas F. Gansler, the state Attorney General, to step in and investigate the attack as a hate crime.

“As a community we remain horrified that transgender citizens are so vulnerable that they can be brutalized for simply walking down the street,”  Lisa Polyak, vice president of the board of directors for Equality Maryland, told reporters. “She was simply trying to use a public accommodation. People should not feel threatened when they exist in public spaces.

The incident occurred little more than a month after the Maryland Gender Identity Act failed to garner the necessary legislative support to enact protections for transgender residents in public accommodations.  A point, Polyak also raised in her talk with reporters.

“This is why we need a statewide law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity and gender expression. “

A vigil is being organized to address Polis’ attack as well as to call attention to the larger issue of violence against transgender individuals.

“Our primary concern is for Ms. Polis’ wellbeing. We support her through this difficult time and we ask that the legal process be unhampered and thorough,” TransMaryland spokeswoman Jenna Fischetti said.

“This is precisely the kind of hatred and bigotry that transgender women and men deal with on a daily basis,” Caroline Temmerand of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland (GLCCB) said.

The vigil is being planned by Trans-United, TransMaryland, the Baltimore County for Equality and GLCCB. Members of the organizations and community supporters will gather at 7 pm in front of the McDonalds where Polis was attacked, which is at 6315 Kenwood Ave, in Rosedale.

GLAAD will continue to monitor this situation and provide media support for the LGBT community in Maryland.

APRIL 15 is a day to STAND UP STRONG IN SILENCE!

INFO ABOUT THE DAY OF SILENCE
Sponsored by GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, the National Day of Silence is a day of action in which students across the country take some form of a vow of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in schools. Through their activities students can speak out against harassment and organize for change for their schools and communities.

The Day of Silence is a Tool for Change. Organizing a Day of Silence (DOS) activity or event can be a positive tool for change-both personally and community-wide. By taking a vow of silence, you’re making a powerful statement about the important issue of anti-LGBT bullying. When you organize others to join you that message becomes louder and louder. You can use this attention as a building block in your plans for larger action. Find out more about the Day of Silence at the links below.

GLSEN is the nation’s leading education organization working to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. GLSEN has been the official sponsor of the National Day of Silence since 2001. Learn more at GLSEN.org .

Frequently Asked Questions
Have a question? Want to know more? Just check out answers to some common questions about the Day of Silence here.

Your Rights during the Day of Silence
While you DO have a right to participate in the Day of Silence between classes and before and after school, you may NOT have the right to stay silent during instructional time if a teacher requests for you to speak. According to Lambda Legal, “Under the Constitution, public schools must respect students’ right to free speech. The right to speak includes the right not to speak, as well as the right to wear buttons or T-shirts expressing support for a cause.”

However, this right to free speech doesn’t extend to classroom time. “If a teacher tells a student to answer a question during class, the student generally doesn’t have a constitutional right to refuse to answer.” We remind participants that students who talk with their teachers ahead of time are more likely to be able to remain silent during class.

Check out this document from Lambda Legal for legal questions about the Day of Silence. Lambda Legal also has an online help desk here for more information.

Legal Help: Report It!
If you think your rights are not being respected, or want to report your experience of resistant administration, go to dayofsilence.org/legalhelp. GLSEN and Lambda Legal will review your situation.

Four Truths about the Day of Silence
As the Day of Silence continues to grow, some people have confused the mission and goals of the Action. Clear up any misinformation by reading The Truth about the Day of Silence.

Days of Action Endorsers
These organizations have officially endorsed GLSEN’s Days of Action. To become a Days of Action Endorser, please download this letter. (PDF).

• Advocates for Youth
• American Civil Liberties Union LGBT & AIDS Project
• American Civil Liberties Union of Eastern Missouri
• Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization (BRAVO)
• District 202
• Empire State Pride Agenda
• Face to Face Health and Counseling Service
• FIERCE (NYC)
• Gay-Straight Alliance Network
• Good As You
• The LGBT Youth Space (A collaborative of Billy DeFrank and Family and Children Services)
• National Center for Lesbian Rights
• National Runaway Switchboard
• Rainbow Alley – GLBT Community Center of Colorado

Other questions? Join the conversation:

• Day of Silence on Facebook
• Day of Silence on Twitter
• Day of Silence Blog
• Day of Silence on Myspace

Or email us at info@dayofsilence.org.

 

I told my friends at school; I’m Gay. Now What? LGBT YOUTH COMING OUT

What happens when you come out to your friends in school?  Depends on the kid, but in  the big picture, there are a multitude of dynamics that affect this situation. Usually the first instinct is the straight kid thinking that now the gay kid is attracted to him/her! While not too far fetched in theory, unlikely in probability. Unfortunately the straight kid, no matter how close the relationship was or is before coming OUT, is going to go through 100 questions, assumptions, chaos and confusion in the span of less than 20 seconds. Rest assured that while he/she is on guard and is now looking at you as though you have two heads, horns and flames erupting from your mouth, there is going to be an awkward moment or two while everyone collects their wits!

You already know you are Gay, and you have come to some terms with it. You don’t need time to assimilate the information but your friend does. Take a step back  from your own personal feelings and communicate with calm. You need to remind them that nothing has changed about you in the few minutes or seconds it took to impart the information, you are still the same person they know and have been hanging out with.  They now know something far more intimate and life altering about you, but your sexual preference has nothing to do with the friendship, and does not define your character.  This conversation and experience requires taking great stock and inventory of yourself and assessing the value of the relationship, how you percieve yourself and the other person, and how they percieve you and what each of you benefits from the relationship. That is the key to any exchange between people.

Its a common idea that straight guys are wanted by gay guys, and therefore the relationship poses a threat. The probability and truth here is that the relationship didn’t change, there is likely to be no attraction and this only breeds contempt and fear unnecessarily.

Teenagers are subject to hormonal changes, chaos and confusion and anxiety that is all normally associated with being 13-20. They are emotionally painful years in which a child learns to navigate relationships that are not familial, and learns the meaning of intimacy, while at the same time assuming more responsibility in the world. Girls lose their minds and become uglier versions of themselves with alter egos that roll their eyes, stomp their feet, whine, fuss and carry on, and resemble something from The Exorcist such as head spinning and speaking in different tongues.  Boys grow secretive, solemn and spend increasing time alone or absorbed in their sports/activities. Music is introduced as a way of life and the genre and content of what they are listening to can set a mood. Both genders dissappear into an abyss commonly known as social media, social life and friends, never to be seen unless needing to be fed, or after a long sleep on the occassional Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Imagine going though these adolscent rituals with the complex understanding that your preference in relationships and partnerships is the taboo “same sex version”? This complicates the process and makes it even more difficult and in some cases seems hopeless and overwhelming without support.  The child who is fearful of coming out is the most homophobic and can be the cruelest. This is the kid that goes to extremes to appear straight and will do anything to keep up the appearances.  His communication is full of derogatory comments and insults, because he is protecting himself.  Or thinks he is…..

So there you are, you have blurted it out to someone important. You have told a friend and now anything can happen. Its frightening and unchartered territory, and comes with it possibility of social disorder, and becoming an outcast where social hierarchy and acceptance determine the enjoyment of school and life.

Stay real to the moment. Be honest be authentic and genuine and respect the other person regardless of the perception they may or may not have on you. Your strength in the situation is defined by how you carry yourself, and the method in the communication. Setting the example through your own communication, body language and tolerance (YES there MUST be tolerance for the straight person in this scenario) will set the tone moving forward. Keep in mind a gay teen can be more homophobic than anyone, because he is trying to behave as thought straight, afraid to come OUT.  In truth the gay factor has no more affect than the car you drive the way you spend your time, academic performance or music choices.  Helping your friends understand this, and move forward without costing you the friendship is the key to whole equation.

Strength is defined as having a mental power, force and vigor, establishing a moral power, firmness and courage.  It takes strength to stand up strong in what you believe in, and not bow down in shame. It takes infinite bravery to come OUT and the younger kids doing it today should be applauded with a standing ovation.

I have watched my son blossom as a person since coming OUT two years ago. I have seen him combat becoming a victim with greater strength than a man twice his age, taking control of his life and destiny and becoming a leader in his community. I have watched him take pride in who he is with a clarity and understanding that there is NOTHING wrong with him, and he is nothing short of perfect because as parents we STAND UP STRONG behind him and champion for him.  We open doors, seek solutions and educate him in how to go about living his life in full authenticity.

Words only hurt if you allow them to. In truth every person comes with a flaw or imperfection by social standards. Once upon a time, being a Jew was horrific, dirty and shameful. Millions of Jews were persecuted and murdered for the basic “crime” of being different and socially deemed inferior. Later Afro Americans fought for their rights of freedom and equality where once the drinking fountains and bathrooms were segregated.  Being Gay and OUT is the final frontier on bias, predjudice and equality.  Being Gay is not shameful, nor regrettable nor imperfect. Just as great leaders in history had to STAND UP STRONG to educate the masses and take up their cause to inspire change, so must we today, take a stand for the LGBT youth, and strengthen their foundation and authenticity by educating the masses.