As I navigate this road I am astounded by the perspectives of those who are gay, those who are not, the kids and teens who identify and how they identify and find myself scratching my head with greater frequency.
I have been addressing an issue with my son and his “fit” in the local High School. Having recently transferred from California to Texas, and obviously a LGBT youth, I expected some issues but not the ones I find myself confronting and championing. While it is assumed that Texas, the Good Ole” Boys state would be the least likely place to encounter LGBT acceptance, the reality is, he is not being bullied or encountering issues with straight kids but instead with the other LGBT teens, of which this High School has many.
It seems that my son is deemed “too Gay”, ” too effeminate”, and simply put, discovering that socializing among his own community is proving difficult. This was astounding to me and frankly preposterous.
“What the F%#@????!” was my immediate response when I learned of the social hardships and unkindness. I feel trapped in a scene from “Mean Girls” and ill-equipped to understand or make right a situation that is very, very wrong. While I stood there listening to this young man (not mine) elaborate on the dis-likeable traits of my son, such as too girly, too feminine, too OUT and the justification that my son is living Gay as a lifestyle as opposed to this kid’s “character and personality trait” I found that for the first time I was speechless and dangerous all at the same time. A mother’s first instinct is to attack the aggressor ( frankly I wanted to haul this young man in front of a mirror and ask him if he preferred to be the POT or the Kettle today?) There he stood, with that Justin Bieber/Donald Trump comb-over no one ever imagined would be fashionable, in matching red t-shirt and red ked’s and freshly pressed skinny jeans and wondered if this kid really knew what he was saying? I am discovering in this amazing OUT world through my child, that kids, regardless of sexual orientation, are just plain cruel.
So I ask the question, is there a difference between Gay and “Too Gay”? What does that mean exactly? Why would these kids not bond and form community choosing to be at odds instead, in this world of equality and defusing hate crimes and bullying? Is that other child really convinced that he is “different” and in some way superior to my son? What is the sense behind “Character trait” vs “lifestyle”?
I see so much coming at me as a parent, and like all parents, worry, fret and stress over the happiness and childhood experiences of my children. Childhood should last as long as possible and be joyful and memorable and fun…..so when you think you have done right by your child, and you are helping him or her build their community and discover that even today in this world of equality and change that instead of bonding and becoming a force to be reckoned with, they are at odds and still unkind to one another for petty reasons such as the shirt they wear, the speech patterns or characteristics it makes a parent want to SCREAM!
I am at a loss on this one. I rally for the child, in the meantime, let him know that in the world there are the real and the superficial and the unkind everywhere, but there is also kind, real and genuine and finding those people are the gift of the everyday wonders of life……WHY was I not issued a manual when that stork dropped by???????
Standing Up Strong 